How to Know if God Wants You to Have Another Baby

Has anyone ever told you "We are trusting God with the size of our family"? Did you agree? Did you feel a fiddling shamed or confused?

I dearest beingness a mother of 8 kids. I e'er wanted a large family. My husband loves having a big breed. But we're not "trusting God" with our family size. Here's why.

We are Pro-Large Family

Don't become the wrong impression. We're big supporters of those who cull to take a big family. If you tell me ...

Nosotros're open to having more kids.

Nosotros're not using birth command.

Nosotros prefer natural family planning.

You'll find that I am a big supporter. And you won't be hearing any judgement from me, even if your choices atomic number 82 to struggles and hardships.

I firmly believe that some of the most worthwhile things we can do in this life come with their share of trials, and those trials might fifty-fifty be role of what makes them worthwhile.

Linguistic communication Matters

Hey, I get information technology. Birth control is a touchy subject area. And it'south weird to hash out your sex life with random people at church and the grocery shop. (Why do folks feel costless to make that a topic of conversation, anyhow?)

So maybe you're but looking for a family unit-friendly (hehe) way to say "Nosotros have sex whenever we experience like it and we aren't currently using anything to prevent the sperm from getting to the egg." If yous want to share that with folks, but you want a different way to say information technology, that's cool.

And maybe it goes a footling farther than that. Maybe your reason for desiring a large family isn't just your personal preferences or because information technology's your hobby.

Maybe the reason you lot desire to have more children is that you run into it as a kingdom-building activity. You want to have more children as an human activity of serving the Lord. And so this really is near wanting to do what God calls y'all to do.

Amen. I'm totally with y'all on that. But please don't draw what you lot're doing as "trusting God" with the size of your family unit.

Even if you don't intend it, your word choice is dissentious. You are suggesting that anyone who takes a different approach to family size is not trusting God .

Are Y'all a Control Freak?

I've heard this same idea phrased in another, as troubling fashion. I mom said,

We've decided to give God command over my womb.

That sounds so lovely and good. God should be in charge, right?

But here's the rub: it'due south actually non a rational argument to brand.

Communicating that you've decided to give God control over something is like saying that y'all're assuasive the sun to shine or giving the wind permission to blow.

Whether or not y'all use birth control of any sort, control (over your fertility or any other area of your life) wasn't yours to brainstorm with. So you can't take credit for giving to God what wasn't in your possession in the first identify.

And it creates that same troubling dichotomy as the "trusting God" expression. It suggests, somehow, that those who are making decisions to delay or avoid pregnancy are "taking away command" from God.

If your censor is troubled with worry that you lot're hijacking command from God, let me reassure you lot - you aren't. Y'all didn't. You lot tin't.

You lot tin can effort to be in control. Y'all can think that you are in control. You tin can realize and admit that you lot're not in control. Only you can't decide to exist in command, or decide to let God be in command.

Equating Trust with Inaction

This isn't simply an result of hurt feelings. It's actually a question of audio Biblical theology.

God conspicuously calls us to trust him. But nowhere in his discussion does he equate trust - inextricably - with inaction or forbearance from intentional determination making.

Sometimes trusting the Lord means waiting. Sometimes trusting the Lord means moving forward. Sometimes trusting the Lord means irresolute courses.

I cannot call up of another unmarried surface area of life in which we speak this way about what it ways to "trust the Lord." What if someone said to you ...

Oh, I don't use an alarm clock. I'm trusting God with my sleep.

It's true, slumber is a good thing. It'due south a gift from God, in fact. God fifty-fifty says in i place in Scripture that it'south vain to ascent up early on. (Psalm 127:ii)

So yes, enjoying the God-given gift of sleep is a wonderful thing. Sleeping until your body naturally awakes is a wonderful blessing. And it's a expert thing to do. Sometimes.

But God gives united states other principles also. Yous'd accept to ascension up early on in the morning to search and read all the passages virtually people who, for 1 reason or some other, rose up early in the morning time.

Jesus woke upwards early on in the morning, while information technology was nevertheless dark. Jesus woke his disciples from sleep because, even though they were very tired, he wanted them to be praying instead.

Just this isn't an article near sleep. My bespeak is only that just because something is indeed a good thing, is given to us by God, and often ends naturally of its ain accord, does not mean, therefore, that to make a positive pick to influence the outcome is a mark of "non trusting God".

Selective Trust Tests

As I mentioned to a higher place, I have no objections to practices like natural family planning, or ecological breastfeeding as a ways of spacing or avoiding pregnancies. I warmly support those who choose to use these methods.

I do recall information technology is odd, however, that these intentional practices are still considered to exist nether the umbrella of "trusting God" while other intentional practices of influencing the chances of pregnancy are not.

Certainly, at the very simplest level, couples choose when to have or non accept sex.

I certainly wouldn't accuse a couple of "not trusting God" considering they abstain from sex during a woman'due south fertile period. But I would question why that intentional option is considered "trusting" while others are not.

A Helpful Perspective Shift

After our second child was born, my husband and I read several books about childbearing, the "Quiverfull" motion, birth control, and other such topics. Truthfully, they were helpful in some ways.

I recognized that I had unconsciously considered having children every bit something we were doing for ourselves. A male child, a girl, brick rancher, nice family photos. I had dreamed of existence a mother since I was a niggling girl.

Just having children - like marriage, church membership, and so many other areas of life - isn't primary about my personal satisfaction. Information technology was healthy and helpful to refocus the purpose of child-rearing to that of serving and glorifying God.

We realized that having children wasn't something nosotros should exercise for our own comfort. In fact, at that place might exist times when it would appropriate to cede and exist uncomfy for the sake of having and raising children for the Lord.

We agreed at the time that nosotros were not convinced that nascency control was a sin, or that in that location was never an appropriate apply for it. We only felt that, for that flavour, we didn't demand information technology.

What if I had health bug? What if I suffered postpartum depression? What if we couldn't handle or beget more kids? We decided information technology was all-time to cross those bridges if/when nosotros came to them.

When the Bridges Came

I had my first tour of postpartum depression after the birth of my fifth kid. My 7th pregnancy was riddled with depression from formulation until well afterward weaning.

Subsequently our seventh baby was born, we began to wonder if seven was enough for us. Should we stop?

I spent months in tears and prayer. One thing I prayed over and over "Give me clarity, Lord. Delight. Give me clarity. What would you take me to practise?"

After seeing some improvement in my health later on I began taking a Vitamin D supplement, we decided to try 1 more fourth dimension. My 8th pregnancy immediately plunged me back into a deep depression which only deepened later on delivery.

I night subsequently my married man had drifted off to slumber, I tossed, restlessly in the bed. I cried into my pillow. Worn out, exhausted from years of concrete and emotional strain, I was drastic for relief.

I wanted to plough my attention to enjoying and investing in the eight children we had. And nevertheless, my censor was trouble about the idea of being "done".

Information technology's 1 thing to believe y'all have freedom in Christ to do something when you aren't imminently faced with that decision. But when the day comes that yous look that determination total in the face, sometimes you notice that your conscience was burdened in ways you didn't realize.

My husband rolled over and saw that I was crying. He held me as I poured out my centre to him. This wasn't new territory. We'd had this conversation many times before. Just and so he said something that stopped me in my tracks.

Beloved, I don't think you're trusting God with this.

My middle leaped into my throat. Certainly he could not exist on the verge of maxim what I thought he was going to say??

He said, "You're not trusting that God loves you. You're non trusting that he'southward good and tender. You're interim as though he's out to become you. Only, love, he'll be pleased if yous have some other baby. And he'll be pleased if you finish and raise the ones you've got."

We are Trusting God

And so, we are trusting God as concerns the size of our family. But that'southward not code for "no nativity command". Instead, this is what it looks like to trust God in this matter.

Trust His Claret

We trust that we are righteous in Christ, saved past grace lonely, received by religion alone, autonomously from any works on our function. God loved united states of america earlier nosotros loved him and definitely before we had any children.

Trust His Sovereignty

God is perfectly in control. Though we believe our family is complete with 8 children, we know that he is no less in control of my womb. Should he cull to send the states another, we will trust his decision. And we trust that he will requite the states grace and resource for the claiming.

Trust the Sufficiency of His Word

Nosotros trust that God is capable of carrying all that we demand to know in order to love him and love our neighbor. We believe that his Word, completed nearly 2 thousand years agone, is sufficient. He included all that he intended, didn't forget to add together anything, and leaves much open to choice and wisdom.

Trust the Goodness of His Creation

God fabricated man and adult female dissimilar whatsoever other beast in his cosmos. He made them after his own image. He gave u.s.a. souls. He gave us reason. And he urges us to call on Him for wisdom which he promises he will give generously and without reproach (James 1:5).

Making use of our faculties of reason and decision making to utilise Biblical principles to the specific situations in our lives isn't a failure to trust God. It is living in accordance with his design for us as unique creatures.

Trust that Children are a Approval

Equally my female parent wisely reminded me, if children truly are a approval and a souvenir from the Lord, and so they are worth investing in and raising well to adulthood. Belief in the goodness and blessing of children extends far across birthing and, therefore, must the factors that influence how many we have.

Trust His Tenderness

Man looks on the outside, simply the Lord looks on the heart. He knows our weakness. He knows that we are but dust. And he loves us with the tender love of a father.

Multiply and Be Fruitful

A faithful and wise pastor one time spoke about the phrase "exist fruitful and multiply". Before the fall, he said, these tasks would have been one in the same. Merely the act of bringing children into the earth would take resulted in perfect, holy, God-worshipers.

In our fallen world, however, these are 2 related simply separate tasks. Both are of import. It is skillful to multiply. Only raising those children to be fruitful is an fifty-fifty greater task. There is no shame in wisely apportioning resources to both tasks.

What about yous? Are you in a phase of family growth and not sure how to talk about it? Have you experienced this pressure level and expectation?

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Source: https://hswotrainingwheels.com/trusting-god-family-size/